CDrive’s Season 2011/12 Highlights (Yes Really): Part One

Yes we lost to United 8-2, got beaten 4-3 by Blackburn, got taught a lesson by Swansea, didn’t turn up at the San Siro etc. Apart from that we actually had some extraordinary highlights, ones that on occasion left me almost completely breathless. Here’s a list of 10 of my personal favourites in some kind of order.

 

10. Arsène Wenger hugging Pat Rice (WBA 2-3 Arsenal, Premier League, 13th May 2012)

The Boss had been apoplectic with rage for most of the second half, but what we saw towards the end was something altogether different. With Arsenal hanging on by the fingernails Arsène mimics the nervousness every fan was feeling and clambers onto Pat Rice. This is great for two reasons: Arsène, despite being the manager shows he feels what we feel; and secondly that he is hugging Pat on his last day at work demonstrated an unusual poignancy rarely ever seen in the dug-out.

 

9. Robin van Persie v Tim Krul,  (Arsenal 2-1 Newcastle, Premier League, 12th March 2012)

It’s 1-1 at the Emirates, and Newcastle are time-wasting. Tim Krul is particularly enjoying himself, doing that thing I hate, unnecessarily moving goal-kicks to the opposite corner of the goal area.  However, all that time-wasting was in vain, as Thomas Vermaelen scores a 95th minute winner. Robin van Persie helpfully suggests to his international team-mate that he might now relent from wasting any more time. Krul, incensed with what was massively astute statement decides to produce his handbag. In fairness, it was handbags on both sides but seeing RvP not back down and giving Krul a bit of verbal roused an already-electrified crowd. It was also the first time I agreed with Gary Neville, to my absolute horror, when I watched it back at home.

 

8. Bacary Sagna on “The Enemy” (26th February 2012)

Not the band, but on Spurs in his post-5-2 interview: “…In our own stadium, against the enemy we could not lose”. And if anyone thinks these are just words, you only need to see the sheer voracity of his opening goal against Spurs. He had clearly had enough of being 2-nil down, and he was certainly not going to be on the losing side that day.

 

7. The Poznan,  (Arsenal 1-0 Manchester City, Premier League, 8th April 2012)

I hate the Poznan. I can never understand why, upon your team scoring, you would turn your back on them. Don’t you want to see the team celebrating, the scorer showing you what it means to do what the humble fan has always wanted to? I must admit I did put my hatred for this moronic celebration to one side after Mikel Arteta put Manchester City to the sword at the Emirates. Whilst the players celebrated, the Poznan reverberated around that North Bank and yes, I did join in to stick it to the City fans. Even The Grumpy Sh*thead was enjoying himself. And the funnies continued, as at the end Mario Balotelli finally completed his match-long mission to get sent off.

 

6. Chelsea 3-5 Arsenal (Premier League, 29th October 2011)

This was a match that was much more important than it usually is. Having been a team that was becoming accustomed to losing the big matches (Liverpool, Manchester United and Spurs up to this point), we’d clawed our way back a little bit by recording a series of almost under-the-radar victories. So this was a game we had to win, as I felt the somewhat fragile confidence that was finding it’s way back to the side would have been completely shattered again. And despite going behind twice, Arsenal produced a resilient performance, a Santos strike, Theo Walcott battling with gravity to stay upright and score, and an RvP hatrick.

And it was my birthday.

 

5. John Terry on his backside (Chelsea 3-5 Arsenal, Premier League, 29th October 2011)

Although it’s technically about a Chelsea player I feel this deserves a separate mention as it was Arsenal-inspired. Aside from the odious off-field stuff he gets involved in (don’t get me started on that), for the longest time I’ve felt that from a purely footballing perspective Terry’s best days were long behind him. Saw him play for England v Ukraine at Wembley 4/5 years ago and I was in shock as to how slow an international defender is allowed to be. So after all his lack of humility and badge-kissing it warmed my cockles immensely to see him flat on his a*se as Robin sped away to score his second.  It is even funnier looking back when you realise that a) even if Terry had stayed on his feet he would have been too slow to catch RvP anyway, and b) this is becoming something of a trademark of his.

 

To be continued Gooners…

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Sleepless In Holloway – AFC

Sunday had begun with a profound sense of foreboding. You see after our stay of execution last week (Spurs inexplicably drawing at Villa last week) I was quite enjoying a week without football, not having to worry about injuries/if we’ll ever win without Mikel Arteta/whether we’ve scored too early etc.  Now however it was back to business, so with a quiet sense of fear I made my way to The Quays pub on Holloway Road, a trusty venue which always shows the Arsenal, with a good red-and-white atmosphere. My brother, a fellow nutty Gooner, could not bear to put himself through the wringer and decided to stay at home. I couldn’t really blame him after the way things have gone lately, especially after the Norwich result last week. That said, although I knew he’d be keeping up with the scores, somehow I wasn’t wholly convinced by his insistence on not watching it…

Some forced changes and a surprise or two in there, with Francis Coquelin, Santos and Carl Jenkinson coming into the side.  With the injury to Bacary Sagna, Jenkinson was always going to start but a little surprised to see the other two. Given our receding midfield options I guess we’re always going to see something relatively new. At least if the game goes south we can bring on Theo and The Ox to change things.

The pub fills up and we’re underway. A minute in and I notice a beachball had been thrown from the stand and was rolling precariously onto the pitch – did I need these bad omens? How about Nayim warming up for West Brom maybe? Pascal Cygan warming up for us?!

3 minutes in and the little bit of help I was looking for came in the shape of Marton Fulop. And what a big piece of help this ‘little bit of help’ was. The ball is fired back to him from a West Brom interception deep in midfield and for some inexplicable reason instead of picking it up (there’s no way it would have been considered a back-pass) he decides to dilly-dally, allowing Yossi Benayoun (sign him up) to steam in there for a smash-and-grab tap-in. Yes! One-nil to the Arsenal, and whilst I was relieved that we were ahead, it certainly wasn’t lost on me that this was almost an action replay of the Norwich match. And it wasn’t long before West Brom pulled one back, almost as if the getting the first goal meant the hard work was done. Shane Long capitalises on some slack-jawed defending and scores. Subsequent pundits have claimed that he was onside – having seen it a number of times afterwards I feel my initial diagnosis on that was correct, that he was marginally off. Still, the goal stands and you’d think this would have been a warning but only 4 minutes later Graham Dorrans puts them ahead, taking advantage of yet more lax defending.

My worries of the Norwich game repeating itself was now coming to fruition. Thankfully there was more industry from Arsenal after this and along came Santos doing I think we should do more often, when the passing isn’t working just have a dig. He duly obliged, with a great low long-range drive. Not quite Winterburn/Silvinho, but relieved to see that nestle in the net. Fulop could have done better I guess, but it was nowhere near as bad as his other errors.

Even though we were currently 4th as Spurs were winning, I was pleased to get to half-time level after going behind – we can almost disregard the first half and start anew in the second. Arsène was clearly also thinking this and has made a change – Theo’s in for Tomas Rosicky. Sorry to see him come off to be honest as I love his industry, but I admit he hadn’t had the greatest game by his lofty recent standards. Hopefully Theo can run them ragged and soften them up for The Ox. And as with so many games where we’ve behind before, there was a renewed focus as we turned up the heat. My brother walks in to the pub, stating that his wife had sent him packing because his nervousness was doing her head in. And that, in all honesty, he couldn’t keep away. I knew it! Then Fulop, fast becoming Arsenal’s man of the match, punches the ball from the resulting corner behind him to a grateful Laurent Koscielny who makes no mistake.

3-2 now, and that familiar worry of “have we scored too soon?”/” we need a 4th!” comes back, as we have nearly 40 minutes go. And West Brom are coming at us, corner after corner, it almost feels like they’re trying qualify for the Champions League. Gervinho, my next candidate for a substitution, is taken off for Kieran Gibbs, and although he wasn’t The Ox, I was pleased to see a defender come on. I’m struggling to watch this now as what I call The Spectre Of Defensive Lapses, who seemed to be ever-present in the first-team squad in the first third of the season, had returned to haunt us in recent weeks and was certainly hanging around The Hawthorns. To make things worse, I realised that Peter Odemwingie wasn’t actually on the pitch and is now coming on – I could just imagine him scoring.

Aaron Ramsey comes on, which was a surprise given his recent form. Where I stand at the North Bank he has been receiving some serious vitriol, particularly from a moronic ‘fan’ whom I will refer to as The Grumpy Sh*thead behind me. I feel Ramsey is an honest and fair player who doesn’t deserve the derision he has been getting. I’m sure Ramsey knows he isn’t playing well – berating him will not reverse his slump, so I was hoping he’d end up scoring the 4th, for both his confidence and the two proud fingers he’d stick up at the boo-boys.

Into the last 10 and I’m beginning to become frustrated as West Brom were seeing far too much of the ball. Wojciech Szczesny kept launching the ball instead of holding onto it and slowing the pace of the game down. Someone else who was getting a bit of stick during the Norwich game was Gibbs, so I was pleased with his match-saving tackle at the end of the game. It’s been said it’s the £30million tackle, and boy it really did look like one, absolutely perfectly-timed, a tackle any of the Back Four would have been proud to make. I hope The Grumpy Sh*thead saw that one.

After 5 minutes of hands-on-head, nervous-gaspy, I-need-a-wee, Arsène-Pat Rice-hugging injury time we complete the job (and without needing The Ox or an RvP goal I might add). We now know that there is nothing Spurs can do that can change our 3rd place position. As The Quays celebrates the victory the big screen switches to the Etihad Stadium, almost as if to cut short our cheers. I couldn’t stand for that and defiantly started an “Ooh To Be A Gooner” chant, which drowned out the Sky commentary. The Spectre inspired no more errors, it felt like we won through the sheer force of Arsène’s anger at times. The end of the season could not come soon enough as with the injuries to Arteta, Sagna and Theo, the tiredness of Ramsey, Gervinho and to a certain extent RvP I feel we’ve been running on petrol fumes just to get over the line. I’m not alone in being glad to see the back of this season although I feel a little strange saying that when I really think about it. Curiously there have actually been some extraordinary highlights (the 5-2, the 5-3 against Chelsea, TH12’s winner against Leeds to name a few), it’s just unfortunate that these were countered by some truly shocking results. But as every Gooner knows Arsenal rarely ever do things the easy way, so we really shouldn’t be too surprised by season-ends like this. All the worry about whether RvP will stay/who should we bring in/who should we get rid of could wait for another day, just wanted to enjoy this victory (with a lot of post-match beers, unusual for me on a Sunday). If there is one thing that is to be learned, especially by that horrible mob up the road, is that is never ever over until that final whistle.  (It is probably advisable that any ‘Mind The Gap’ pictures should wait until after this.) Now I can relax, safe in the knowledge that Spurs have come up short again and this time, there’s not a lasagne in sight.

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